Dense and Denial
by Purina
Summary: She had no claims over him. So what if he was always around that Lisanna girl? So what if he never asked her to missions anymore? So what if it's been weeks since they last had a full-fledged conversation? It certainly wouldn't bother Lucy...and yet.
1. Badump

**This will be another story about a NatsLucanna triangle with Mr. Heartfilia proving an important plot point and a bit of OOCentricities...**

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><p>It was…<span>weird<span>.

She didn't know when it started. She just knew that it wasn't normal. Certainly it hadn't always been that way. He talked closely with other girls on very many occasions. She wasn't the only girl in his life.

What was it to her anyway?

She didn't understand what was so weird about it. His childhood friend came back from the dead. Anyone would be ecstatic if that happened to them. Everyone was. The guild was booming with all the joy and cheer. And he was so happy.

_But that was the thing…_

Was being happy a good enough excuse for blowing her off so much? She didn't mind it so much. She had no claims over him. He could very well hang out with whomsoever pleased.

**So what** if he was always around that Lisanna girl?

**So what** if he never asked her to missions anymore?

**So what** if it's been weeks since they last had a full-fledged conversation?

It certainly wouldn't bother Lucy…_and yet._

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><p>The guild was just as lively as it always was. Mirajane was her perky self and serving drinks to the various members. Elfman was arguing with another about the characteristics of being manly. Jet and Droy were crowding around Levy while Gajeel observed from close by. Cana was drinking from her usual barrel ton of beer. And Master Makarov watched calmly from his spot on the counter, watching over his beloved children.<p>

The only difference was the absence of a certain blonde-haired stellar spirit mage who would usually be seen sitting with Levy, talking of books and literature, or with an energetic trouble-maker and a blue cat. _In her place_ was the light haired take-over mage that presumably 'came-back from-the-dead'.

The doors to the guild opened and the sound of twinkling metal could be heard as a pair of high heels walked briskly into the bar.

The blue-haired mage looked up from her books, "Lu-chan!"

Many others raised a hand in greeting as the girl slid into the seat next to her friend.

"Hey," she replied, a Lucy smile plastered on her face.

The two girls continued a chat postponed about a novel idea that Lucy was thinking of writing about. The scene appeared normal and natural, but no one noticed the blonde clenching her denim skirt underneath the table, once again, in disappoint that a certain dragon slayer had failed again to even look up to her arrival.

**Th-thump**

_'There it is again'_ she thought as she struggled to concentrate on her conversation with Levy.

_'That feeling...'_

**Th-thump**

_'Why does it keep happening?'_

**Th-thump**

_'Natsu...'_

**Th-thump**

_'Why does it hurt?'_

She flashed another 'smile' at Levy when she caught back onto the conversation. A dull throbbing in her chest was making her lose her focus. Making it center unnaturally on the other side of the guild, where two mages sat chatting happily.

"Hey," she said, interrupting Levy's rant about the author's view on female mage capabilities. "I'm feeling like a drink right now."

She gave her friend another vacant smile, unaware of the slight glossiness of her eyes, revealing to the intuitive mage of the sadness she was desperately denying.

Levy returned the look with a sad, wistful expression. "Okay, Lu-chan."

As the stellar mage walked towards the bar counter, the blue-haired girl shared a knowing look with a spying bartender. Just because Lucy, herself, didn't know what was going on, it didn't mean others couldn't figure it out themselves.

"I don't care what you give me. Whatever you have that burns." Lucy murmured, plopping into an empty chair in front of Mira. She dumped her head into the folds of her thin arms, suddenly feeling exhausted.

Mira was about to question her when she got a good look at the blonde's condition: not in the usual side-ponytail that it was always in, her hair flayed about her back and arms somewhat wildly, and her clothes were beyond wrinkled, completing the look of a disheveled, distraught young girl.

Wordlessly she filled up a mug and placed it beside the girl, lingering in front of her in worry.

"Lucy, is everything okay?"

The stellar mage lifted her head to answer. Mira frowned to herself, seeing the faded but coloring bags forming under the girls eyes. The once cheerful, lively brown now reflecting orbs of dull, disturbed confusion.

"I'm perfectly fine, Mira. Why?" slim fingers encircled the handle of the mug beside her and she took a big gulp of the concoction, a slight pause and clenched lids confirming that the drink did indeed _burn._

"Nothing," the woman hid her concern with a smile. "You just seem sort of out of it."

"Hmm..." Lucy hummed against her drink, "I suppose that's a little true."

She took another swig from the mug.

Light brows knitted together at the reply. "Does it have anything to do with Natsu?"

The blonde stopped mid-gulp and lowered the glass. "How do you figure?" she asked lowly.

Mira hesitated. "I just...don't see you two talking much anymore."

An eyebrow raised at the observation, "Well that doesn't mean I'm having a drink _cuzza_ him."

It was Mira's turn to raise a brow. Out of all the guild members Lucy was the most abstinent about alcohol. Something about it affecting her skin. Drinking, let alone getting smashed so quickly did not occur unless something major happened. The only major difference she saw in Lucy's life was the change in her relationship with Natsu.

"Lives don't center around just one friendship y'know," liquid contents spilled as the girl gestured about with her mug in hand.

"Even if that friendship has been on the downlow for a few months. And the _basderd_ hasn't even said hi to me in the past few weeks. And I get this weird _ba-dumpy_ feeling in my chest that hurts when I realize we're still not talking. And these _zircles_ I keep running in my head."

For once Mira showed a genuinely sincere smile. "Oh Lucy."

"Whaddya want?"

"I knew things were bad, but I didn't think you were in love."

"Yea, well wai- WHAT?"

A spark of life came back to Lucy's eyes as they bulged in disbelief at the statement.

The S-class mage gripped her hands and her following smile made the stellar mage cringe. "I wondered if this was the case but I figured I was just jumping to conclusions." The smile widened, "But it turns out I was right after all."

Drunken thought rambles added to the blonde's confusion and she wrenched her hands away from the smiling bartender's, causing her empty mug to shatter onto the floor beside her.

"Whoa, I almost got hit there!" A new voice screeched in surprise.

The two women turned to the man now appearing on Lucy's right, the one and only Dragneel. They both gaped as the slayer looked up to the stunned blonde.

"Lucy!" he cried pleasantly. "It feels like I haven't talked to you in ages!"

**Th-thump**

A hand flinched towards the spot over her heart and she hastily stood from her chair in the same moment.

"I have to go."

Six pairs of eyes watched the girl leave, not seeing her hand clench painfully on the fabric over her heart as the doors to the guild swung closed.

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><p><strong>I apologize for inconsistent Lucy-drunk-talk. Dialogue: not my best suit. c(X More soon!<strong>


	2. Trembling

**Quick update. Loved the feedback I was getting for the first one so I wanted to write the next one right away. Enjoy!**

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><p>The streets of Magnolia were deserted.<p>

_'Well it is pretty late...' Lucy thought, 'I only came to the guild because...'_

Brown eyes snapped open in realization. "CRAP!"

She stopped walking when she remembered.

'_Erza's coming back tonight!'_

__The red-haired mage had gone on a mission a few months back. Right after...Lisanna had come back. To the guild's despair, she'd chosen a mission that specifically instructed that she would be traveling for an extended period of time. Unaffected by that fact however, Erza simply waved at everyone with a smile and declared that she'd return as soon as possible.

Lucy sighed, "I guess I have to go back then." But she didn't move.

Instead she lowered into a ball, still facing away from the guild. Chin tucked with her arms curled around her bent knees while balancing her weight on the balls of her feet.

'_I left in such a huff though_' she groaned to herself.

'_...but I haven't seen Erza in ages_.'

A chill ran down her spine as an unforgiving gust of wind urged her to decide more quickly.

'_But if I go back..._'

**Th-thump**

A determined made its way on her face. The stellar mage stood up swiftly, shivering slightly from the evening's cold. She'd made her choice though.

And with a decided click of her heels she continued on the pathway back to her apartment.

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><p>'I'll just say hi to her tomorrow, surely she'll still be there then,' the blonde thought absently as she fidgeted with the key to her apartment. Smiling lightly past the doorway, she lifts her arms to stretch a bit.<p>

She sighs, "Finally, home sweet ho-OME?"

Eyes bulged out. Jaw dropped to make a ridiculous face she stared at the scene before her.

"I have returned!"

"Hey."

"Welcome home, Lucy!"

She'd have fallen over if the grin didn't crack on her face. When was the last time they'd done this? Erza and Gray were seated comfortably at a kotatsu as a flying blue cat swooped in front of her face. She almost laughed at the familiarity, but one little detail stopped her.

The absence of a pink-haired dragon slayer.

Sighing internally, she started when Happy dropped down into her arms.

"Where were you Lucy?" he chirped curiously, "We thought you'd gotten lost."

The stellar mage blinked.

'_Guess I took longer to decide than I thought_.'

"Guess I got lost thinking." she grinned.

"Psh, what kind of idiot gets lost on the way to their own apartment?" Gray murmured.

Eyes narrowing, she simply pointed to the ice-mage's body. "What kind of idiot doesn't realize he's sitting half naked in someone else's apartment?

It was Gray's eyes now that bulged out at his shame. "WHAT THE-?" Then he dashed off to look for his clothes.

While he went off to do that, Happy flying off to laugh at him, Erza stepped closer to Lucy with a friendly smile.

"So, how are things?"

"Alright I guess. Rather boring since you headed off."

The redhead chuckled. "Missed you as well, Lucy."

It was then that Gray walked back in the room fully-clothed with Happy over his shoulder.

Realization etched itself on Erza's face. "Hey, where's Natsu?"

The temperature in the room dropped about ten degrees as the other three mages froze at her question.

"Sorry, but I have to go to the bathroom." the blonde smiled and headed off to her business.

The remaining individuals in the room watched her figure before it disappeared behind a wooden door. The knight mage then turned to Gray and Happy, eyes becoming more serious as she sensed a change in her friend.

"Did something happen when I left?"

Sighing, Gray scratched the back of his head as he plopped down at the kotatsu again. Happy sporting a doleful expression.

The ice-mage cut to the chase. "Natsu's been ignoring Lucy." Happy nodded.

"WHAT?" Red brows knit together in slight anger and Erza raised her voice, "How could he?"

Wincing, the two tried to explain to best of their knowledge what they thought was going on.

"He's not really ignoring Lucy." Happy defended. "Natsu wouldn't do it on purpose."

Gray added, " He's just sort of...distracted."

Her expression darkened. "**That's no excuse**."

Waving his hands to somehow make an imaginary shield between him and the seething woman, he stammered, "I know! I know! I mean, it's starting to get on my nerves too. I know that Natsu and Lisanna were close but it doesn't mean he's gotta give up Lucy to make up for the time they misses and all."

"WHAT?" the knight mage's head grew and flames were starting to spew out of her mouth.

A billion sweat drops appeared on Gray's face, "I-i just think that's the reason for it y'know? Idiot, spends every waking minute with her. He hasn't even noticed Lucy until today. She seems kinda miffed about it though. Ran out the second he started talking her. Drunk too if that means anything."

Erza shrunk to normal size and stared at him incredulously. "Lucy was-?"

A door shut and the three looked to see Lucy. If possible, her hair was more unkempt than it was at the guild. Only now did Erza finally notice.

And automatically, she knew.

The stellar mage gazed at all their expressions and felt the exhaustion increase.

"Sorry, guys," she apologized quietly. "I'm feeling kind of out of it right now, I think I'm just going to bed."

And without seeing them out her apartment, she shut the door to her bedroom. Shut _herself_ from their concerned looks.

Clenching the doorknob tightly, one lone tear feel as she tried to stop the trembling.

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><p><strong>Just so you guys know, Lucy <em>was<em> drunk but her time getting lost kinda sobered her up if that makes sense. That's how I'm playing it so :D.**


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